Dog Soldiers (2002)
Wow! What a movie! It is amazing that two of the
better horror movies of the last decade have stars that are werewolves and use
practical effects. This must be a good sign. "Dog
Soldiers" concerns a group of soldiers who are on a training exercise in
the Scottish Highlands when they find themselves being hunted by a group of
werewolves. After an absolutely relentless extended action sequence in the
forest, our heroes find themselves holed up in a farmhouse "Night 
Of The
Living Dead" style. The difference is that these werewolves are way
more aggressive than lumbering zombies and they are freakin' huge! They
climb in the windows, bust down the doors, and are not afraid to make people
bleed. For that matter, director Neil Marshall is not afraid to show said
blood onscreen and we end up with one of the goriest semi-large releases in
recent memory. This was a top notch horror action picture that literally
had me gasping for air at some points. Expert editing makes that pace even
faster and shows the perfect amount of the monsters to not cop out while at the
same time not lingering long enough for a critical audience to spot flaws.
These fuckers are scary and it is a movie where anything can happen, anyone can
die, and the guts fly. This is probably the best movie I have seen in the
last year or so and I cannot recommend this enough. Horror fans rejoice
and enjoy!
Cannibal Ferox (1981)
Of the many cannibal movies, this one is my favorite along with
Ruggero Deodato's "Cannibal Holocaust". Something about
"Cannibal Ferox" stands up to repeated viewings. I have seen this a
few times more that Deodato's exercise is brutality as it plays more like a film
made to entertain and is therefore not quite as unsettling. John Morghen
stars as Mike, a despicable drug dealer type who is in the Amazon trying to make
a quick buck in emeralds with his buddy Joe. They join up with a woman who
is researching cannibals along with her two friends after the research trio's
car gets stuck in the mud. Soon enough they are in a cannibal village and
things get ugly quite quickly. The remainder of the movie consists of our
protagonists trying to figure out how to escape when they are not being eaten or
tortured. The story clips along and director Umberto Lenzi finds a nice
balance between the action and exploitation. There are the usual scenes of
animal cruelty that I could have done without. This time it is a turtle, a
crocodile, and a couple of scenes of nature against nature. I don't
usually close my eyes in a movie but seeing a live turtle gutted onscreen does
kind of gross me out. We also have a veritable plethora of gore scenes to
make you uncomfortable including an infamous hanging by hook through breast
scene that looks frighteningly realistic. There is also some
disembowelments, brain eating, limb chopping, gut munching and more. The
theme song is totally catchy and groovy. Many of you may know this under
it's alternate title "Make Them Die Slowly". Look for a number
of Euro-horror regulars including Robert Kerman ("Cannibal Holocaust",
"Debbie Does Dallas") as a cop, Perry Pirkanen ("Cannibal
Holocaust") as a thug, and Meg Fleming ("Eaten Alive") as Mike's
girlfriend.
Hustler Squad (1976)
I bought this one because it had the name Cirio Santiago listed as
a producer. Santiago is sort of a Roger Corman of the Philippines and he
is responsible for a ton of exploitation films including "Ebony, Ivory, And
Jade" and "TNT Jackson". "Hustler Squad" has all
the elements of a good Santiago film including lead female characters who kill
and get naked, lots of explosions, and a cheesy plot. In other words, all
the elements of a good old fashioned 70's exploitation film. Many of
Santiago's films contain below average lighting and dubbing but I don't find that
it is so bad that it detracts from the entertainment value of the movie as a
whole. In this outing, Major Stony Stonewall (John Ericson) is in charge
of recruiting some women to carry out an assassination mission in a high class
whorehouse. Their orders are to lure some Japanese officers into bed and
then kill them. The four ladies consist of a horny murderess (Nory Wright)
who is
looking to get laid as she has been in a female prison (and she kind of reminded
me of a low budget Salma Hayek), a revenge crazed rape victim (Liza Lorena), a Scandinavian
terminally ill hottie (Johanna Raunio), and a tough prostitute (Lynda Sinclaire). They are recruited and then
put through a weird training sequence that climaxes in the girls sliding down a
modified flying fox all to the sounds of big
band music. Wacky indeed, expecially when Stony's sidekick Paco gets
involved. There is also a mild romance blossoming between Paco and the Scandinavian
but it was a little unbelievable considering the moods of the other girls.
If I was Paco, I certainly would have gone with the other option and taken on
the horny murderess and the horny prostitute. That's just me though.
Finally we have some decapitations, a bit of skin, and a bit of action.
Overall, not the best movie but if you are not expecting much and are familiar
with the world of Cirio Santiago, you will enjoy it. This is not to be
confused with Ted Mikels' "The Doll Squad" which also goes under this
title.
FearDotCom (2002)
Reviews of this movie have not been good and there is a reason for
this. I was pretty disappointed that what seemed like a cool idea was
turned into a convoluted mess due to a script that absolutely blew. First of all, the locations and set design
were ultra-cool but someone ended up looking generic as if the production
designer had looked at stills from "Blade Runner", "Se7en",
and "Dark City" and tried to recreate them as opposed to use them for
inspiration. I'm sure this wasn't the case but it ended up looking like
this due to what was happening and being said in said locations. Second, we had a good cast who all (except for Stephen Dorff)
seemed like they were dropped into this movie with no rehearsals and were
winging it. This was due to the boring and cliche dialogue that made even the always reliable Jeffrey Combs seem out of place. Next, I really don't like bouncing balls
representing dream/hallucination sequences. Add a child to the image and I
really get bent out of shape. Argh! Finally, why are writers so
obsessed with putting in a love story into everything. It did not belong
here and there was absolutely no chemistry between the characters in
question. This lack of chemistry was less to do with performances and more
to do with the fact that the script did not really work it in properly. It
is difficult in a picture like this where the script is confusing and missing
plot points as it makes the actors look worse than they are and it also detracts
from the whole experience. A movie like "FearDotCom" is the
result of Hollywood getting away from plot and characters and concentrating so
much on effects and gross revenue that the whole end result suffers. It also
illustrates the fact that the lack of original ideas and tendency to rip off
other successful movies (clearly "The Ring") is starting to take its
toll and movies are continuing to get worse. This is one of those movies
that will haunt everyone involved with what could have been and will anger fans
who see the potential in the artists who unfortunately did not have a canvas to
work with.
City Of The Living
Dead (1980)
My first foray into the world of Italian gore occurred when I
rented the scary-boxed "Gates Of Hell" as a teenager. Thanks to
the magic of DVD, I am now able to relive the horror again this time in its
cleaned-up, uncut, widescreen glory. Now that I am much more familiar with
the godfather of gore, Lucio Fulci, I am watching this movie in a different
light. No longer am I the naive kid looking for something a little harsher
than the usual but I am a seasoned horror fan casting a critical eye on a
classic. What I have discovered is that although Fulci (and others) have
scripts that may be a little lacking, they are still quite scary and they all
have specific set pieces that will be burned into your memory like a brand on a
horse's ass. This is what sets these films apart from the current movies
like the previously reviewed "FearDotCom". The Italian splatter
kings had balls and 
were not afraid to break the rules and gross us out.
Where else are you going to see a cast get pelted with flying maggots, a girl
puke up her intestines, and a guy get a power drill through the head.
Certainly not in anything at your local multiplex these days. Fulci took
the genre and literally horrified us with a combination of shocking images,
cheap jolts, and a creepy atmosphere. Add to that the memorable score by
Fabio Frizzi and some zombies and you have "City Of The Living
Dead". Take the opening credits with Frizzi's score over a shot of a
graveyard and quickly follow this up with a disturbing shot of a priest hanging
himself and thus opening the gates of hell and you have a wicked ride of scares
and suspense. Although these zombies are my least favorites of Fulci
zombies, they are quite messy and get the job done with their brain-rippings and
sudden appearances. While those not in the know may see this movie as a
bad cheesefest, those who appreciate the genre regard this as a classic and a
must see. Look for a who's who of splatter stars including John Morghen
("Make The Die Slowly") in his second role, the stunning Catriona
MacColl ("The Beyond"), Christopher George ("Pieces"), Carlo
De Mejo ("Contamination"), Daniela Doria ("New York
Ripper"), and Michele Soavi (director of "Dellamorte Dellamore").
There are also very brief appearances by Perry Pirkanen ("Cannibal
Holocaust") as a gravedigger and by Fulci himself as a
pathologist.
Vampire Clan (2002)
The opening of this flick was a suspenseful sequence that we do
not see too often these days. I was actually quite frightened for the
female character and the scene played out like a scene from one of the more
effective "killer in the house" sequences of the slasher genre.
What follows this sequence in a story of a small group of goth kids who think
they are vampires, drink each other's blood, and ultimately commit murder.
The movie as a whole was quite good considering the budget and my only real
complaint is the lack of depth to the actual clan members. Leader Rod
(Drew Fuller) is a Mansonesque character as he someone manages to convince his
group of teenage girl followers that he is a vampire and they should join
him. They blindly follow his lead and with trusty dimwitted assistant
Scott in tow, they proceed to go on a road trip to New Orleans in newest clan
member Heather's parents' car. As the story is told through a series of
flashbacks we know that Rod acquired this car by killing said parents with a
crowbar. If we simply look at the clan members as villains with Heather
being the damsel in distress then the picture is very engaging and effective but
the minute you start questioning the motivation of the bad guys, you have a
problem as not enough back story was given. This is one of those movies
that will only work when you are in a certain mood and the mood you are in will
influence whether you like or dislike the movie. I was just looking for an
entertaining movie with goth kids and as a result quite enjoyed the movie and
would recommend it. If you are looking for a deep character study, you
will likely think this bites. This is based on a true story of an incident
that happened in Florida in 1996. The soundtrack was quite good with goth
rock songs mainly done by The Genitorturers who seem to have mellowed out quite
a bit since "120 Days Of Genitorture".
Forced Entry (1975)
I was expecting somewhat of a rape-revenge movie in this one or at
least a suspenseful girl vs. rapist in a house thriller. What I got was a
poorly shot and very low budget exploitation movie that tried to 'show' the
viewer what the rapist was seeing and 'let us into the rapist's head' with those
wonderful voiceovers that made Bill Lustig's "Maniac" so
annoying. In fact there were a number of elements of "Maniac" in
this movie but "Maniac" was a much better film. Our plot
consists of an unpleasant chap named Carl who goes around assaulting women,
stutters a lot, and has body language that reminded me a lot of Joe Cocker's
performance at "Woodstock". I don't know what that means.
Anyways, there is not really much of a plot as we follow Carl around and hear
his thoughts as he assaults a girl with a broken down car (in the movie's most
graphic scene), a girl on a bike, and a lippy hitchhiker played by Nancy Allen
("Carrie"). He eventually fixates on an wealthy, unhappily
married mother of two and breaks into her home to assault her. For reasons
unknown, I do not believe that he actually does the deed with her but I guess
the movie had to end somewhere. Believe me, the movie is even more
disjointed than this review. Tanya Roberts plays the housewife and she
went on to "Charlie's Angels", "Sheena", "Night
Eyes", and eventually "That 70's Show".
Shock Waves (1977)
I have never seen this one before because when I first got into
zombie flicks and saw the majority of them, it was all about the gore. I
had heard that this one did not have any gore so in my blood-drenched frenzy, I
passed it by. Thanks to the wonderful folks at Blue Underground, I
am now able to enjoy this entry in the Nazi zombie sub-subgenre. The movie
has a classic horror movie setup with a boatload of different personalities
including Brooke Adams ("Invasion Of The Body Snatchers"), Luke Halpin
("Flipper"), and John Carradine are stranded on an abandoned
island. Little do they know that an elite group of shades-wearing undead
super-Nazis are coming out of the water. Our heroes quickly hole up in a
nearly abandoned run down hotel whose only occupant is Peter Cushing who also
happened to be an SS commander. Things get interesting when the zombies
emerge and start to pick off our characters. Now, as I said before there
is no gore in this flick but there are some creepy sequences involving the
zombies who look quite frightening popping out of the surf. These are
not your average lumbering oafs but are in shape and can run around and smash
stuff. Another thing I liked is that it is there is no screwing around as
our characters are simply thrown into this bad situation and have to deal with
it. No love story subplots here, kids. While "Shock Waves"
is not my favorite zombie movie (or even in my top ten), you can do much
worse. The make-up is by Alan Ormsby who wrote and starred in
"Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things" and also wrote a bunch of
other movies including the Ed Gein inspired "Deranged". Director
Ken Weiderhorn went on to make "Return Of The Living Dead Part 2".
East End Hustle
(1976)
I am a real sucker for cool 70's box art and this one is
amazing. There is a drawing of a girl in a Times Square looking setting
with a tagline that screams 'Cindy used to be a hooker'. Well, I was
hooked and decided I must see this movie. While the movie was not set in
New York but in 70's Montreal, I did not let this get me down. I also did
not let it get me down when the vigilante revenge action tone that the amazing
cover promised did not pan out. After seeing the movie, I realized the
cover did not lie but sounded a lot better that the movie actually was.
This synopsis writer should get a prize. Anyways, Cindy (Andree Pelletier)
did indeed used to be a hooker and her new career is to get other hookers out of
the life. Her first rescue is in the form of Marianne (Ann Marie
Provencher), a homely girl who is being sexually abused by her boss at the
textile factory. Cindy and Marianne make a good team and proceed to hang
out and humiliate some studs at a pool hall and some other studs looking to get
laid. They also continue to rescue prostitutes from the grips of the evil
rich businessman pimp character. Things turn cliche when the honeymoon
ends and the inevitable revenge must be carried out. Sure this had the
elements of a gritty female vigilante picture but was instead a character drama
about the lives of these girls. My problem was that I didn't really have a
chance to feel too much for any of the characters other than Marianne as their
lives were not really depicted as being too awful. Maybe it was because
the flashbacks were confusing or maybe it was because the filmmakers were
restrained. In any case, I can use the cover to make a really cool
t-shirt. Co-star and writer Allan Moyle went on to direct "Times
Square", "Pump Up The Volume", and "Empire Records"!
What Have You Done To
Solange? (1972)
Although I am not an expert on the giallo film, I do know that
this has a reputation of being one of the best. I also know that I enjoyed
this a great deal and put it up there in enjoyment level with films like Dario
Argento's best work and Mario Bava's "Blood And Black Lace". A
teacher and his student are fooling around on a boat when the girl witnesses
glimpses of a murder on the shore with a female being chased down and then stabbed
in the vagina. With an opening like that, you know you are not in for a
politically correct picture. As the plot progresses the usual suspects
crop up including peeping toms, priests, perverts, and jealous females.
The title is brilliant as you are wondering about this question throughout the
picture and if you are reading this review without 
having seen the film, I
suggest you check it out before reading any other reviews so that you can enjoy
the movie fully. Although the acting is not always great, this film did
not have any boring bits and the script and direction kept me more than
interested. A very well done thriller that deserves the positive press it
has been getting from Euro-horror aficionados since Shriekshow released the
beautiful widescreen DVD of this film. Look for Camille Keaton of "I
Spit On Your Grave" fame as Solange, Cristina Galbo from "Let Sleeping
Corpses Lie" as the young student Elizabeth, and Fabio Testi from
"Revolver" and Lucio Fulci's "Contraband" as our studly
professor. Joe D'Amato was the cinematographer (maybe that explains the
more-than-average nudity and violence).
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