This was an totally funny movie that reminded me of "Waiting For Guffman" if John Waters had gotten his hands on it. We have a group of girls in small town America competing for a beauty contest crown that can lead them to the state championship. Our main contenders include a tap dancing funeral parlor cosmetician (the awesome Kirsten Dunst), a stuck up daughter of a former winner (the wonderfully bitchy Denise Richards), a dog loving odd girl, an overly dramatic fan of "Soylent Green", a line dancing white daughter of an Asian family, and a wrestling cheerleader (with an awesome cheer). Put these all together with a conspiracy that eventually leads to the deaths of some of the girls as well as an amazing supporting cast including the so cool Ellen Barkin (beer can and all), the usually annoying but kind of funny in this movie Kirstie Alley, and the sarcastic neighbor character played by Allison Janney (Ricky's mom in "American Beauty") and we have an amazing movie. On top of all these advantages, the movie also boasts an amazing puke scene, a completely bad taste but bloody hilarious lip-synch to a Melissa Manchester song (I am laughing just thinking about it), and the fact that I was laughing out loud repeatedly. Oh, I cannot forget to mention Denise Richards' truly horrifying performance of "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" with a surprise guest and the bizarre pork products commercial. Man, this movie has it all and will be going down as one of this web sites all time classics. Check this one out if you have not seen it already and have a blast!! (ha ha)
Here we have a great "King Kong" ripoff that I completely enjoyed due to its cheesy effects, funny dubbing, and great story. We begin on a desolate island where there is an earthquake and the gigantic Peking man (half man/half ape) arises out of the ashes and destroys a village. Cut to Hong Kong where our down on his luck hero Johnnie (Danny Lee from John Woo's "The Killer") is getting drunk in a bar when he is approached to head an expedition to find the Peking man. Johnnie agrees and it is off to the island they go where they encounter many dangers including tigers, quicksand, and giant cliffs that they need to climb. Eventually the rest of the expedition feels the trip is too dangerous so they desert Johnnie to fend for himself. Johnnie soon comes face to face with the Peking man and his beautiful, sexy, blond, scantily clad counterpart Ah Wei (Evelyne Kraft). Johnnie takes a liking to Ah Wei and they decide to move to Hong Kong and take Peking Man with them. Peking Man is treated as a spectacle back home, eventually gets pissed off and confused and, well, you should know the rest. I thought this addition to Quentin Tarantino's Rolling Thunder Pictures was an excellent acquisition to that excellent line and I highly recommend this to any fans of B-movies, Godzilla, or good old fashioned monster movies. This was not scary in the least but it had a good story and Evelyne Kraft was sure nice to look at. The effects are horrible but I honestly liked the story so much that I didn't care. Funny, I watched "Girl, Interrupted" the evening before this and I cared 1,000 times more about the fate of the Peking Man than the fate of Winona. What does that say about Hollywood??
The Alien Agenda : Endangered Species (1996)
This was by far the most entertaining of Kevin Lindenmuth's "Alien Agenda" trilogy. I unfortunately watched the series in the wrong order and this is the second entry and, I thought, the most polished and interesting. As with the other films, this one is basically an anthology where everything is tied into the premise that there are aliens among us and some have good and some have bad intentions. The first story entitled "Birth Right" concerns our heroine Megan (Debbie Rochon) as she discovers that her husband is not what he seems. The story was interesting and it is always a pleasure to watch Miss Rochon in a film. Not too heavy on the action, it set up the rest of the film. The second story entitled "The Law" involved a man named Fritz who was to acquire a stone to help prevent global destruction. I enjoyed this story and the performances were descent but I found in to be the weakest of the three. The final story entitled "Ransom" was the best and it involved a man named Ransom trying to find an alien crash site in the wasteland that has become southern Florida. "Ransom" was directed by Tim Ritter ("Truth Or Dare") and starred Ritter regular Joel D. Wynkoop (in his best role) as the title character. This story had Ransom meet some interesting characters such as a girl who bleeds worms, a giant python, a man being eaten by his own children, and a mutant alligator in a scene that reminded me of Bela versus the octopus in "Bride Of The Monster". All in all, this was my best experience in Lindenmuth's alien conspiracy world and if you have seen and enjoyed the other entries in the series or low budget sci-fi, you will enjoy this. I am not too big on the whole "X-Files" government cover-up type storylines but this one definitely held my interest.
What a kick ass movie! Those of you who say that the best car chases are from "Bullitt" and "The French Connection" should check this one out. There are two major and I mean major car chases in this film as well as many other stunts that makes this a very enjoyable night. The star, director, writer, and producer is H.B. Halicki (who also made the original "Gone In 60 Seconds"). The plot (excuse for a lot of action) involves our hero who is on the way to the premiere of "Gone In 60 Seconds" but encounters all sort of obstacles because someone wants him dead. He is pursued by a sexy Nana Mouskari type assassin, many cars, a couple of airplanes, trans-am cops cars, and eventually manages to get the Good Year blimp involved in the mayhem. There are over 100 cars totaled in the film many of which are totaled in cool slow motion shots. Man, I sound like a little kid but this flick rocked. There is a groovy soundtrack and Halicki himself has cool 70's hair and sideburns. What little dialogue there is is cheesy at best but who cares, this is a car chase movie. Fans of 70's cars will be very impressed with the wide array including a great yellow vette and many more. If you can find this one and like action, check this out. I have heard that this and the original "Gone In 60 Seconds" are going to be rereleased in the near future but you never know with these things. Unfortunately, Halicki died doing a car stunt in 1989 but he left behind a legacy of two of the coolest car stunt movies ever filmed and yet to be topped. Attention major studios: don't even bother with a remake unless you are going to do it right.
Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)
Ok, this now tops "From Dusk Till Dawn II" as the worst horror sequel that I have ever seen. Everything bad that you have heard about this movie is true and I don't understand what they were thinking following up a classic with something like this. I think that John Boorman must have been in a serious drug phase when he directed this. Actually, it felt like everyone involved was on a seriously bad acid trip as it seemed like they were all on another planet when they were delivering their lines. Louise Fletcher seemed like a bored porn actress, Richard Burton looked like he was confused that this was not a Hamlet stage play and Linda Blair all of a sudden reminded me a lot of Pia Zadora. There was also the case of top billed Max Von Sydow who was only featured in a couple of flashback sequences. Speaking of flashbacks, this film featured the worst of the 70's film conventions. As those who read this site a lot, you will know that I love 70's movies but "Exorcist II" had overuse of flashbacks, trippy hallucinations, and that annoying high pitched drone. There was also a locust attack that kept happening that was really boring and complete misuse of the original house from the first movie (that streetlight does not look so cool anymore). I don't know what the hell happened or what the hell this was about but all I can say is avoid this at all costs and watch the first one again.
James Caan stars as a loser asshole names Axel in this character study of a compulsive gambler. Axel is near rock bottom at the beginning of the film having lost a fair chunk of money but a chunk of money that is still owed to bookies. He manages to find a way to pay off the debt but instead of paying it off, he gambles it away and gets deeper and deeper in trouble as the film progresses. Caan is excellent and believable as Axel as you see the way he treats people and the way that gambling is an addiction. He goes on about the twisted logic about how he likes the "thrill" and you see him walk over everyone that cares about him because he doesn't seem to think that he has a problem. Yes, it's a downer but it is also very realistic and well acted, written, and directed. Lauren Hutton co-stars as Axel's tolerant girlfriend Billie, Paul Sorvino plays his friend and bookie's henchman, Burt Young plays a bruiser named Carmine, and if you look carefully, you will see M. Emmett Walsh (the chief from "Blade Runner") as a gambler in Vegas, James Woods looking very different as a bank employee, Antonio Fargas ("Foxy Brown") as a pimp, and Stuart Margolin (TV's "Beggars And Choosers") as a cowboy gambler in Vegas. All in all, this is an enjoyable and realistic movie that should be checked out if you are interested in the mind of a gambling addict or if you just need a downer. This was written by real-life compulsive gambler James Toback who went on to write and direct "Two Girls And A Guy" and "Black And White".
Now that "Scream" and it's followers have come along and fucked up the horror genre, it is difficult to know when I have actually seen a really decent movie as any horror movie with a shred of an original idea seems really decent to me when the other choices I have involving horror and teens are simply marketing machines trying to sucker the money out of teenagers. No wonder the crime rate has gone up; teenagers across America are broke and pissed off at the corporations giving them a raw deal at the movies like, every time. There have a been a few exceptions like "Carrie 2" (which I liked) but usually the "rule of horror movies" is that when they are set in the 90's and involve a bunch of hot young stars, they suck. The problem that I am having is that I enjoyed "Final Destination" quite a bit but is the reason for that because everything else completely sucks or is it that it was actually a decent flick. It doesn't really matter as I enjoyed the film but I just felt like ranting. The plot is that a group of high school students are going to France on a field trip. Right before takeoff, six students and a teacher leave the plane which proceeds to take off and explode killing everyone on board. As our seven survivors have escaped the clutches of death, death proceeds to come looking for them one by one. This is a well paced, imaginative, and interesting little horror thriller that manages to have some originality in the sewage plant that is the genre at this point (sorry, horror fans, I just saw "Urban Legends: Final Cut" and I am VERY bitter right now). Devon Sawa ("Idle Hands") stars as the vision laden Alex, Ali Larter ("Varsity Blues") plays the quiet Clear, Kerr Smith ("Dawson's Creek") plays obnoxious jock-type Carter, and Sean William Scott ("American Pie") plays Billy. There are also appearances from Daniel Roebuck ("River's Edge") and Tony Todd ("Candyman"). The flick also featured a few good gore effects and had a nice building of tension by not completely spelling everything out for you as most movies do. This was directed by James Wong who was involved heavily in "X-Files" and "Millenium" which might explain why the movie was somewhat original. All in all, this was definitely an enjoyable little horror suspense flick but one which I do not believe will be recognized as a classic. Check it out.
This is the story of what I think happened to the nerdy kid in "The Breakfast Club". That's right, kids, Anthony Michael Hall's character would have become a psychotic bus boy in an art club that is inspired by Shadoe Stevens to murder things and cast them in plaster to become the next big thing in the art world. This is another entry in the "Roger Corman Presents" series that is as entertaining as the others and carries on the b-movie tradition that Corman is associated with. I basically outlined the plot already aside from the fact that Brian, I mean Walter, has a small group of art "friends" and a shady manager who are all blind to why his art is so realistic. These friends include fellow 80's icon Justine Bateman as the accented Carla and Patrick Bristow ("Showgirls") as a roadkill researcher. We are also treated to brief appearances from John Waters regular Mink Stole and "Eating Raoul"'s Paul Bartel as an odd couple as well as "Saturday Night Live"'s Will Ferrell as an enthusiastic fan. This also contains the token nude scenes from this series and the usual cheese but again is highly entertaining and recommended for fans of b-movies. This is a remake of the 1959 film of the same name starring Dick Miller. Oh yeah, Dead Cat, was cool. Ever since "Rubin and Ed", they always make me laugh in the movies.
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