Freaks
(1932)
I gotta give director Tod Browning (Dracula) credit.
Not only did he have the biggest balls on earth to make this movie in 1932 but
he also pulled it off. Still shocking today, 
Browning
brings us backstage at a circus sideshow and delivers a soap opera starring
genuine circus freaks. Not only does he tell the story this but he hired genuine
freaks to play the parts and you have midgets, people missing limbs, siamese
twins, a clown, a bearded lady, and some other strange characters. In
addition to the mere spectacle of all of these human anomalies, there is a great
story of prejudice, greed, and love that will break your heart. Harry
Earles stars as Hans, a little person who is happy with his little person
fiancee Frieda (Daisy Earles) until he sees a luscious trapeze artist named
Cleopatra (Olga Baclanova). Cleo soon learns that Hans is loaded so she
plays up to his affections but secretly plans to marry him and then murder him
so that she can run away with strong man Hercules (Henry Victor). What
Cleo and Hercules don't know is that the freaks have their own code that they
live by which states that if a normal person wrongs one of the freaks, they wrong
all of them. Things culminate in an intense wedding banquet where a clear
division is made between the freaks and those who are not 'one of them'.
Those that have trouble with old movies will still enjoy this immensely as the
main theme of outsiders trying to fit in with normal society has and always
will exist. The screenplay of this film was based on the novel Spurs
by Tod Robbins. This is a totally unique film experience that you will
never forget and is one of my new favorite movies.
Dark Water
(2002)
One thing that differs from the recent Japanese horror movies and
recent American horror movies is the method of delivering the scares.
While Americans for some reason have decided that computer generated monsters
look scary, the Japanese tend to rely more on what the Americans look at as
'cheap scares'. This is fine by me because the cheap scare tactics of the
Japanese constantly have me looking over my shoulder and my heart is beating
quicker than normal anticipating what is going to happen next. There are
also not many fake-outs that American horror films seem to enjoy where it looks
like something scary is going to happen but then you see it is actually a cat
frolicking in the garbage or something followed by a hearty laugh by our
protagonists. When it looks like something scary is going to happen in a
Japanese horror movie, you can bet you ass that the ghost is there.
All this being said, Dark Water freaked me out more than any horror film
I have seen in recent memory (even more so than another Asian film called The
Eye). A mother and daughter rent an apartment in a cold and creepy
looking tenement and soon begin to have problems with an unhappy spirit.
There is a lot of water in the movie from rain to a dripping roof that adds to
the unsettling tone and makes things seem dirtier rather than clean. I
found this to be an interesting use of the element as the opposite is usually
true. All I can say is to see this movie before you see the upcoming
remake starring Jennifer Connelly. Turn out the lights, pull up a blanket,
and I dare you to watch this alone on a rainy night. This was directed by Hideo
Nakata who brought us the original Ringu which jumpstarted the new wave
of Asian horror.
Shredder
(2003)
It's nice to see the recent resurgence of slasher flicks and
although most of them are crap they are still a relatively fun way to pass 90
minutes. Shredder has a gimmick in that it is the first time I
think where slashers and snowboarders collide. Scott Weinger (the voice of
Disney's Aladdin) stars as Cole, a pussy whipped dude who has plans to go
to an abandoned cabin with his rich bitch girlfriend to hopefully get some
action. Tragically, the ice queen (who obviously had a no nudity clause in
her contact) has other plans and Cole soon discovers that they will not be alone
but will instead be joined by the usual gang of psycho bait including the
annoying loudmouth, the stoner, the likeable flirt who didn't have a no nudity
clause, and the cool chick who is mistaken for a lesbian because she has a mind
of her own. They also run into a cheesy guy who is 'from Europe' and who
can't seem to keep his shirt on (I wish the girls were more like this
guy). After the gang gain access to the cabin, they snowboard, drink, have
sex, and die. Although we have seen this all before, this one kept things
entertaining with some gory deaths including a decapitation by steel wire and a
body munched in a snow blower, a legend of a little girl who was killed by
snowboarders, and an interesting setting that was a welcome relief from Camp
Crystal Lake or a frat house. My only real complaints about the film were
the unnecessary cliche Psycho shower scene gag and a
total misuse of jump cuts that seemed more lazy than artistic, I can't really explain
why they were there but they were annoying. Overall there was nothing
terribly original here but it had all the elements that make slasher flicks
fun.
The Bunker
(2001)
I threw this one into my DVD player and was expecting a freaky
Nazi zombie movie in a creepy location that would play out like a cross between Shock
Waves and Day Of The Dead. What I ended up with was more of a
psychological thriller which played on the effects of war on the minds of
soldiers. There were some horror elements such as skeletons and a few
ghouls but for the most part this was a disappointment. There is nothing I
hate more than expecting some zombies to come lumbering from the shadows to
chowdown on some flesh and create havoc and having them not show up. The film takes
place in a bunker where some Germans hole up during World War II when they are
being pursued by the Americans. They soon learn that there is an
underground tunnel system beneath the bunker that may or may not be
haunted. Things get interesting when one of the soldiers goes a little
nutty and takes off into the tunnels therefore leading the others to go looking
for him. As far as the bunker went, this was an awesome location that
would have been super scary had the soldier been trapped with the undead but
instead it almost became repetitive with the cast seeming to just be walking
around and around. I admit that I was clutching my popcorn a few times but
there was no payoff and at the end of the movie I felt cheated. Damn those
marketing people! Stars include Jason Flemyng (Bruiser),
Christopher Fairbank who reminded me of Ron Perlman, Jack Davenport (Pirates
Of The Carribean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl), and Andrew Tiernan.
I also heard that this was a throwback to the good old days of the Hammer Films
style of British horror but I beg to differ. I had it's moments but did
not come close to Hammer but it certainly could have had the plot taken a more
horrific turn.
Count
Yorga,
Vampire (1970)
As far as hot vampire chicks go, Judith Lang as Erica in this film
has to be in my top five of all time. Whether she is caressing her breasts
at the window, chowing down on a cat, or making love in the back of a VW van,
something about this woman stood out. Lang co-stars in this tale of a
dapper vampire from Bulgaria who lives in a castle
in Los Angeles and preys on female babes in the groovy days of yore. I
can't say much for the movie as a whole as it was a familiar plotline that has
been covered by Hammer and Universal over and over again but the fact that it
was set in 1970 rather than the days of horses and carriages gave it a bit of an
edge. Quarry was quite good as the title character but I just felt that
not much happened in this film and it was limited to a couple of nights in
Yorga's castle. One thing that I found did stand out from many other
vampire films was the look of the undead. It was subtle but obvious enough
that we could really see the contrast between the living and the dead.
This was especially evident in the scene where Yorga invades Erica's room.
Little things like this set this apart from the others but the plot and
characters were pretty standard. The doctor reminded me of Reuben
Kincaid from The Partridge Family but is actually Roger Perry from Roller
Boogie. Michael Murphy who played Erica's boyfriend Paul is still
acting regularly today.
Cheerleader
Camp (1987)
This was a fun 80's slasher flick that it pretty run of the mill
but is enjoyable mainly due to the cast and a few key scenes that set it
slightly apart from the rest. 80's favorite Betsy Russell (Avenging
Angel, Tomboy) stars as Alison, a cheerleader who has bad dreams, takes
medication, and has a perpetually cheating boyfriend. Leif Garrett
co-stars as the chump who is trying to score with someone other than Betsy in
nearly every scene he is in. He makes a run for rival cheerleader Suzy
(Penthouse pet Kristen Pflanzer) as well as Betsy's friend Pamela (Teri Weigel
in a pre-porn role). Not much happens in the first half hour and the film
seems like a standard teen summer camp romp but don't worry, it soon turns ugly
when Pflanzer seemingly commits suicide. From here on, the murders start
and we are treated to shears through the head, a car mashing, and more.
There is also a weird dream sequence where a number of the cast members do a
cheer around a copulating Leif and Teri, a dumb rap song with Leif and the token
fat guy who earlier in the film gets his ass stuck while mooning out the window
of a van, and a reference to the little engine that could. Some other
co-stars include Playmate Rebecca Ferratti and Lorie Griffin (Teen Wolf)
as members of Betsy's squad, Lucinda Dickey (Breakin') as a mascot who
reminded me of Neve Campbell, and George 'Buck' Flower as a handyman.
Producer Jeff Prettyman plays the sheriff and some of you may recognize him as
one of the asshole rednecks from the punk rock drama Suburbia.
Gacy (2003)
Finally, one of these serial killer movies that plays like a
serious docu-drama. This one was quite freaky as you can see what a
nutcase the infamous Gacy was and how he masked his insanity under a fairly
normal personality. We are introduced to the character as a business owner
who is struggling to maintain a family and a business. Things seem
relatively normal aside from the fact that he is a little behind in paying his
employees but the monster beneath the exterior does not take long to
surface. If you are not already aware, this guy had a hankering to murder
young men and bury their bodies in a crawl space under his home. The
result was a horrendous smell and an infestation of maggots and
cockroaches. Things really get nasty when his wife leaves him with the
kids and he is left alone in the house with his ailing mother who is oblivious
to the horrors that her son is committing. What makes this guy so creepy
is that he was a popular community member who even went so far as to dress up as
a clown to entertain children at a local hospital. Seeing a fat man in
makeup drown a teenager in a bathtub is the stuff of nightmares. We also
have a great cast of supporting characters including Charlie Weber (from the Buffy
The Vampire Slayer TV series) as a young man who lives with Gacy, Joe Sikora
(who looks like junkie turned poet Jim Carroll) as a hustler, and Adam Baldwin in a
small role as Gacy's dad. The pair of undercover cops were really cool in
the way that they harasses Gacy and you may recognize the long haired one as Dan
Bell who was one of Wayne's clan in Wayne's World. I am not sure
how factual this account of Gacy's life was but I did some brief research and
most of the main plot points are fairly close to the real events albeit not as
graphically depicted as what really happened. Nevertheless, it made for a good
movie and
star Mark Holton has come a long way from the fat kid in the Teen Wolf
movies in his depiction of this monster. The Gacy story was previously
told in a mini-series entitled To Catch A Killer with Brian Dennehy in
the title role.
Ju-on: The
Grudge (2003)
Like many of the recent Japanese horror films as of late, this one
is very hyped. With the impending Sarah Michelle Gellar remake being
released, I figured I better get off my butt and check this one out. I
was left with the same impression I had after seeing Ringu, I wasn't
terribly impressed but there are some images in this film that will be with me
for a long time. This is the first big haunted house story of the new wave
of horror and I felt that it scored high on the creepy factor with ghosts
lurking everywhere making scary sounds and looking generally unsettling.
The main shot of a ghost coming down the stairs really is the stuff of
nightmares (although it seems to have been inspired by the Exorcist spider
walk) as is the little boy when he puts on his mean face. Unfortunately,
the characters did not really grab me as they have in other Japanese horror
films like Dark Water and The Eye and I didn't feel like I had
enough time to really get to know anybody and therefore had trouble feeling too
bad for them when the strange events were taking place. Even the ghosts of
the teenager and the young boy were severely lacking in character development
which was annoying as I feel like they could have been a lot scarier had we
known a little more about their past. I'm not saying they weren't scary
because they were but had I had an emotional attachment as well, it could have
been even more disturbing. Director Takashi Shimizu has done at least four
other similarly themed movies and is also the director of the aforementioned
remake. Maybe I need to see all of them to appreciate this more but for me
Dark Water still rules the genre. For volume of scary scenes
though, I have to say that Ju-on is king. I just wish that all the
freaky images had more of a context.
Spontaneous
Combustion (1990)
An old friend of mine used to call Brad Dourif 'that sweaty
guy'. Brad's look in this film certainly fits that description as a man
who has a little problem with catching on fire. The film starts off well
with a couple who are involved in a government experiment to see if they can
survive in a bomb shelter when a nuclear bomb goes off. They live but the
government executives are not happy when they discover that the boy knocked up
the girl when they were hanging out in the shelter. Approximately twenty
years later, we are introduced to Sam (Dourif) who is the child of our two
guinea pigs. Sam has a tendency to shoot flame when he is fired up over
something and even has the power to send the flames over phone lines and across
rooms. What starts off with a lot of potential quickly turns into a sedative
as I stopped caring about Sam, his girlfriend, or anyone else in the
movie. Add to that a confusing array of corporate and government
antagonists and I was lost. This was another bomb from director Tobe
Hooper and once again I wonder how this can possibly be the same man who
directed The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Saved!
(2004)
Thinking I had been trapped into an awful chick flick, I
approached this one with much trepidation. The fact that Mandy Moore is
one of the stars made me even more wary about what I was about to witness.
It turns out that I had a total misconception about the whole film and was quite
pleased with a smart, funny, and daring look at a Christian high school and the
various inhabitants of it. This was much like one of the better high
school films of the 80's except it was set in a present day school of God.
This lent an interesting spin to things as, in addition to the usual set of
dilemmas the
characters face, they also have to face up to the almighty.
Keep in mind that I am not a Christian. The real star of this show is Jena
Malone (Donnie Darko) who plays a quiet yet popular girl named
Mary. When Mary's boyfriend reveals to her that he is gay, Mary takes it
upon herself to try to convert him back to women. By her side is her Jesus
freak best friend (Moore) who breaks type by playing a campy bitch and runs with
it. The result was like a cross between one of the Heathers and Diane
Ladd's character in Wild At Heart. Also in the mix are Macaulay
Culkin as a cool cripple, Patrick Fugit (Almost Famous) as the cool yet
nice guy, Susan Sarandon's daughter Eva Amurri as the wild Jewish chick (it
works), Heather Matarazzo (Welcome To The Dollhouse) as a nerdy girl who
wants to be popular, indie staple Martin Donovan as the principal, and
Mary-Louise Parker as Mary's mom. This was a really good movie with some
great dialogue, a plot that stayed interesting and didn't turn into Hollywood pablum,
and a cast that all played the best roles that I have seen any of them. In
fact, I think this was so perfectly cast that this may go down as another one of
those movies that will be remembered for having such a great group of stars all
ready to break such as Dazed And Confused.
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