The Butterfly Effect (2004)

The scariest thing about The Butterfly Effect is having to admit that Ashton Kutcher might actually have a future as an actor. Like Johnny Depp (whom I’ll proclaim as Kutcher’s patron saint), who made himself as ugly as possible for Edward Scissorhands, Kutcher “grubs up” for this role. It is, undoubtedly a calculated move to show what a serious actor he is. One could hardly imagine Kutcher’s world being as it is now if the loveable-yet-vapid Michael Kelso was a bearded academic. Though it pains me to say it, Kutcher’s portrayal of said “bearded academic” is more believable than actors using big words on ER. It is just unfortunate that the herd of “dreamy guys” can only act if their ugly.

The Butterfly Effect as a movie is unoriginal but still very interesting. Kutcher plays Evan Treborn, a young who was plagued by blackouts in his youth, who can now travel back to those blacked out moments. All of the blacked out moments are moments of severe mental trauma and, like Homer Simpson and his time-travel-toaster, Kutcher tries to repair the present by monkey wrenching the past, succeeding only in making things worse.

As I stand on my balcony, undertaking the voluntary penance of burning my university degrees, I will highlight the (god help me) DEEPER MEANING OF AN ASHTON KUTCHER FILM: Don’t mess with history. I can hear Zach De La Rocha screaming in my ear as I think of the Khmer Rouge and the Chinese Cultural Revolution and how they, and movements like them, eradicated the future of millions by messing with the past. Shit happens; move on! Living with the past is human – living in the past is an invitation to misery.

If you do choose to sit and watch a bearded Kutcher fly through time, be sure to grab the Special Ed. DVD and decide which ending you like best. The original ending from the theatrical release is good. The alternative ending is a shattering idea but unfortunately rather poorly done. A minute of extra attention could have made it one of the best endings ever.

Baron's Six Shooter…

4 ½ slugs outta 6.

by Baron Cameron (2005)

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